I've had a feeling of relief these past couple of months. I've been feeling like I've overcame a part of me that I didn't know existed. A part of me that came out of nowhere once I moved to California. If you didn't already know, I moved to California from Texas almost 2 years ago, by myself. Like alone alone. I didn't know anybody but a guy I went to high school with and we weren't close friends like that so yes, alone. I moved in with a random roommate which I adore with all my heart and slowly we became two peas in a pod. In the midst of our "peas in a pod" moments I still battled with being alone. She has her own friends and I didn't have any out here, so seeing her enjoy her friends really made me miss mine.
I didn't think I would make new friends honestly. I thought I would just come out here, get into some stuff and pray that God showed me what I am suppose to do with my life. I sat in my apartment and lived a mediocre life, but with so much fear. I was scared to go out and meet others. I was scared to be social with the thought that someone would try to get too close to me. I wanted to be alone and talk on the phone with my friends from home all day because that just made me feel good. (do ya'll hear that? why would someone move to Los Angeles to sit in the house and talk on the phone? crazy I know) I don't understand why I enjoyed that lonely spirit at that time but it was a part of me.
This is when I realized that I needed to get out of my comfort zone because nothing was going to be handed to me sitting on the couch. Now, it took me a minute. I had to get a part time job, open up to some people, even start a Youtube channel to feel like I can finally get out of my comfort zone. But it took me one full year and one event to say "Hey, I can do this. I can let go of my spirit of loneliness. I can go to an event all by myself and enjoy my life outside of those little four walls." And I did just that. I went to a natural hair event by myself. Since I didn't have any natural hair friends at the time I had to go alone and it was one of the best feelings ever. I've never in my lifetime went to an event by myself where I knew absolutely no one. It was a scary feeling but it felt GOOD! Ever since that event I felt unstoppable. I met some amazing people that made me look back on my year like what was I doing this whole time? I don't think I wasted time because I learned a lot about myself, my friends, and what I want to do with my life. But it definitely was a year of growth for me and getting out of my comfort zone. Now in 2016 I am ready to do just about anything and NOTHING can stand in my way.
Wherever you are, If you feel like you are afraid or alone it is okay. I once was alone too, but you need to know that it is okay to be open and to let people in. It is okay to feel vulnerable and it is okay to go out and enjoy dinner, the movies or a social event, ALONE! I read an article the other day that inspired me to share this with you guys. Moving to another city, state or even country alone is a scary thing. You have to trust humans that you know nothing about but what they tell you. It can seem overwhelming when you're so used to what you know. But I enjoyed every part of this experience and now I have friends that I can't live without and I've met some of the most amazing people ever. It's good to let go, get out of your comfort zone and be scared while doing it. Turn your fears into faith, turn your fears into success, turn your fears over to God.